One of the best things about St. Patrick's Day, other than the beer, is the jokes. I've been asking around for everyone's favorite Irish jokes.

Here's what I've come up with around Sioux Falls. These may or may not be the best Irish Jokes in South Dakota. What do you think?

Fagin and Brody are watching a western movie.

  • Fagin says to Brody: “I bet you that cowboy falls off of his horse.”
  • Brody: “No way. I bet you $20 bucks he don't."
  • So they shake on it. Next minute, sure enough the cowboy falls off of his Horse.
  • Brody: “How the heck did you know that would happen?"
  • Fagin: “I saw this movie last week.”
  • Brody: “So did I, but I didn't think he would do it TWICE!?”

Mother Superior is in the convent, when she hears a knock at the door. She opens the door and is shocked to see two leprechauns standing in the threshold.

  • First Leprechaun: "Mother Superior, would you be having any leprechaun nuns in this convent?"
  • Mother Superior: "No, my son. We have no leprechaun nuns in this convent."
  • First Leprechaun: "And mother, do you have any leprechaun nuns in all of Ireland?"
  • Mother Superior: "No my son, I don't believe there's a single leprechaun nun in the whole church!"
  • First Leprechaun turns to Second Leprechaun: "I TOLD YA! ... YOU BEEN DATIN' A PENGUIN."

One night, Mrs McMillan answers the door to see her husband's best friend, Paddy, standing on the doorstep.

  • Mrs. McMillan: "Hello Paddy, where is my husband? He went with you to the beer factory!"
  • Paddy: "Ah Mrs. McMillan, there was a terrible accident at the beer factory. Your husband fell into a vat of Guinness stout and drowned."
  • Mrs McMillan, Crying: "Oh don't tell me that! Did he at least go quickly?"
  • Paddy, Shaking His Head:: "Not really, he got out 3 times to pee!"

Erin and Finn are walking down the road and Erin has a bag of doughnuts in his hand. Erin Says to Fin: "If you can guess how many doughnuts are in my bag, you can have them both!?"


An Irish priest is driving down the road and gets stopped for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.

  • Trooper: "Sir, have you been drinking?"
  • Priest: "Just water."
  • Trooper: "Then why do I smell wine?"
  • Priest, Looks at Bottle, Then the Trooper: "Good Lord! He's done it again!"

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