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Charlie Sheen’s Job Is Safe Despite His Eternal Love of Hookers and Blow

Charlie Sheen
Brad White, Getty Images

Charlie Sheen proved yet again this week that he really is still winning — if you call snorting coke and smoking crack while still collecting a hefty paycheck “winning.”

Huh. We’re really not sure where we stand on this.

By now, we all know there’s pretty much no substance — legal or illegal — that Charlie Sheen won’t put in his body. And still, because he keeps getting well-paying gigs essentially playing himself, he makes more money than just about any non-rock-star junkie has the right to.

And despite his (new) downward trajectory toward yet another tiger blood-fueled frenzy of drugs, women and partying, Sheen won’t be fired from his current gig on ‘Anger Management‘.

This is due in large part to the fact that unlike some celebrities (who shall remain Lindsay Lohan nameless) Sheen is still able to do his job and do it well. Maybe because steroids and Viagra aren’t the only performance-enhancing drugs out there.

As a source tells Radar Online, “It’s amazing how much Charlie parties but he’s still able to go to work and perform … The show tapes multiple episodes at a time and Charlie is somehow able to still deliver his best.”

In essence, Charlie Sheen can buy and consume $2,000 worth of cocaine a day and not only live to tell the tale, but work an entire shift as well. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

(Not you, Charlie. That was an idiom. NO YOU CAN’T SMOKE IDIOMS.)

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