Contact Us

Church Bulletin ‘Bloopers’

Church Sign facebook

They’re Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters.  (If indeed church ladies still use typewriters?) These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

-The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

-The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’

-Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

-Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.

-Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you.

-Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.

-Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

-For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

-Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

-Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

-At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.

-Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

-Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

-The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

-Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.

-The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

-This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

-Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.

-The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

-Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.

-The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

-Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.  Please use large double door at the side entrance.

-The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours.

MORE Ben & Patty Stories

More Local News

Latest Entertainment News

Best of the Web

Leave a Comment

It appears that you already have an account created within our VIP network of sites on . To keep your points and personal information safe, we need to verify that it's really you. To activate your account, please confirm your password. When you have confirmed your password, you will be able to log in through Facebook on both sites.

Forgot your password?

*Please note that your points, prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

It appears that you already have an account on this site associated with . To connect your existing account with your Facebook account, just click on the account activation button below. You will maintain your existing profile and VIP program points. After you do this, you will be able to always log in to http://mix97-3.com using your Facebook account.

*Please note that your points, prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

Please fill out the information below to help us provide you a better experience.

Register on Mix 97-3: Today's Best Mix of the 80s, 90s and Today quickly by logging in with your Facebook account. It's just as secure, and no password to remember!

Not a Member? Sign Up Here.

Sign up for an account to comment, share your thoughts, and earn points to get great prizes.

Register on Mix 97-3: Today's Best Mix of the 80s, 90s and Today quickly by logging in with your Facebook account. It's just as secure, and no password to remember!