Dear Mouth-Breathers: Please Don’t Set the State on Fire Today, OK?

It is warm, dry and windy today. The National Weather Service has listed much of the state in the “very high category” in the Grassland Fire Danger Index.

So of course, what does that mean? Time to go burn weeds in the north 40!

I will bet you that by the end of Monday, there will be at least one report of a grass fire in South Dakota.

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Why are some people so stupid? Do they get up in the morning and go, “You know, I just have a hankering to burn that brush pile today, and nothing, AND I MEAN NOTHING, including high winds and dry grass, will keep me from doing it. Time to find the gasoline can!”

Do you act like Beavis and Butthead and stare at your handiwork and go “Fire! Fire! Huh, huh, huh. Fire!” Do you burn your lungs while you’re doing it, you mouth-breather?

To the 0.1 percent of people of South Dakota who are morons, I beg of you! Listen to the weather service. Listen to your local fire department. Use some common sense. Please put off your desire to burn the entire state to the ground today and wait for it to rain before you go all pyromaniac on us?

OK?

Give the fire department the day off—and those of us who have write and broadcast about your selfishness and stupidity as well.