Deer Antler Spray?

There are a few phrases and names I never expected to hear in the same sentence. You know, things just would never seem to go together.

Things like "Bill Clinton" and "You bet I had sex with that woman!". "Donald Trump" and "I am a modest real estate developer". "Randy McDaniel" and "Albert Einstein" (unless it was "That Randy McDaniel is certainly no "Albert Einstein".

Well, another one I wasn't expecting in the same sentence is "Vijay Singh" and "Deer Antler Spray"...or "Ray Lewis" and "Deer Antler Spray".

Ok, truth be known, this 'ol boy didn't even know what "Deer Antler Spray" was. Now, "Skunk Spray", yes, having grown up in the country I did know what Skunk Spray was and in fact, our dog Sarge knew what it was even better. It had nothing to do with muscle growth.

I don't know, I would have guessed maybe it was something to make your antler grow? Maybe something to be prescribed by a doctor and sold on those drug TV commercials? You know, the one's where the side effects can include diarrhea, constipation, cramps, loss of vision, weird thoughts and dreams and in rare cases, you might start playing piano. I thought maybe it was something like that, I didn't know. I don't need a larger antler so I never checked.

Anyway, I guess it's another illegal substance that can help make your shoulders bulge up over your head, and give you a neck the size of a water hydrant. Attractive things like that. The antler? Well, that might even shrink, despite the name.

So what's next? How about Fox Lure? I remember when I was a kid my Dad had a small bottle of Fox Lure. It was something he would put on a trap to, of course, lure the Fox to his capture. And believe it or not, it would make you run a whole lot faster. Yep, he let me smell that Fox Lure and believe me, with that stink, you'd run as fast as you could to get away from it. Pop's said it was made from Fox urine. Lovely.

Hey professional athlete, listen up! Here's some Randy advice: You rub that Fox Lure all over yourself, then head out to the football field. Don't worry, if your a receiver, this stuff will create lots of separation!