How to Cuss at Your Mother and Live To Tell About It

A story that starts with, “I was playing MONOPOLY,” usually follows a twisted path to destruction.  After participating in more than a few sessions of the classic board game, nothing should surprise me.

Lesson learned in this case is to pay attention to the game a little closer.  With the wheeling and dealing across the cardboard landscape, I had forgotten how many rolls my mother had taken while she was in jail.  I’m still not exactly sure, but it must have been her third roll.  By rule if you don’t roll a double by your third turn, the fee is 50 dollars to get out.

We happened to be playing with the rule that if a player lands on free parking , the pile of money that accumulates in the middle of the board goes to that lucky person.  Mother rolls a ten, it’s not a double on the dice and she said, “I was going to pay my fee before I rolled,” as her dainty fingers collected a sizable pot.

I took that to mean that she saw an advantage of moving to free parking for the reward and decided after the fact.  That would be cheating in my book, but I took the bold step of calling out my own mother who brought me into this world by exclaiming, “That’s B.S.!”

The initials, not the words (what do you think I am, stoopid?) no sooner escaped my mouth when my 11 year old daughter asked, “Did you just curse at your Mom?”  Busted.  That was good for a laugh at my MONOPOLY misfortune.

With Thanksgiving and other holidays pending the opportunity to interact with family and friends should be cherished if at all possible.  I understand family dynamics or dysfunction which is the reason for the disclaimer.  Regardless of how you proceed from here my prayer for you is that this holiday season will be a blessing for you and those you love.