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Patty’s Ponderings – No Ms.Fix-it

Flickr photo of multiple tools

I’m not much of a Ms. Fix-It. Do-it-yourself projects and I have never been simpatico. But that doesn’t stop me from the occasional repair undertaking. That is correct, I never seem learn this particular lesson! Falling off ladders, rolling down staircases, near-electrocutions and the accompanying injuries they’ve inflicted are all part of my home improvement resume!

This Saturday, I was looking for something to distract me from an unexpected appointment at my veterinarian’s (Dr. Brost) office. My poor old German Shepherd, Zeus, continues his descent into ill health and we’re trying to slow his free fall. So I decided it was high time to change out the toilet seat with a new one.

This “new” toilet seat has been sitting in the basement for approximately 4 years. Why I chose this particular exploit to distract me- -who knows? But distract me, it did.

It was hard to tell whether I needed a Phillips head or a flat head screwdriver. Apparently the idiot who put on this other seat- – (me), stripped the heads on the bolts! So I tried both and then switched to pliers. Needle nose pliers are very handy for all kinds of tasks, especially the ones with wire cutters on them like mine. (You see this coming, don’t you?)

At this point I was sweating so much my glasses were more like leaky swimming goggles, hard to see out of and nearly useless. I had what I thought was a tight grip on the seat’s left bolt head with my pliers and attempted to turn it. The pliers slipped off and the wire cutter snapped shut on my left pinkie, almost removing the entire back of that finger.

I screamed, the dogs jumped up, started barking and before I knew it, there was blood spurting all over the place! I ran to the kitchen for paper towels because I seemed to sense that I needed something absorbent and I wasn’t about to ruin the towels in the bathroom!

I rinsed the grisly wound with hot and cold water, followed by disinfectant, then swaddled the digit like a newborn in multiple layers of paper towels and eventually stemmed the bleeding. Neosporin and a big bandage were used to cover the ugly laceration.

Then, I slowly, determinedly, forged ahead without the pliers, got the old seat off, new one on and took Zeus in for yet another heart wrenching appointment. Honestly, watching my beloved dog’s deterioration continues to be  much more painful than any idiotic, self-inflicted injury I could perpetrate.

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