Cold Spring Police Chief Phil Jones, left, and Rocori School District Superintendent Scott Staska pose with bulletproof white boards in Cold Spring, Minn., April 22, 2013. (Mike Austreng/Cold Spring Record/AP Photo)

Something new has been added to the vocabulary of teachers in Cold Spring, Minnesota. Two words: bulletproof whiteboards. Yes you can write notes about today’s “Silas Marner” assignment, but you can also protect yourself and some of your students with it. The 18 –by-20-inch whiteboards are not only immune to gunfire, but also; stabbing, kicking and beating these dual purpose devices, has absolutely no effect on them.

I see stories like this and can’t help but worry about the whirling vortex of doom into which society is spinning at an ever alarming rate. But I do understand where the Rocori School District is coming from. In 2003 two students were killed in a school shooting there and they are by no means the only school district using these; just the first one in Minnesota.

They are already in use in some schools in Pennsylvania, Maryland, California and North Dakota, according to their manufacturer. Hardware LLC has manufactured military vehicle and personnel armor protection devices for years, but after the Sandy Hook school shootings began manufacturing the multipurpose educational apparatus.

Indeed, readin', writin', 'n 'rithmetic are not what they used to be!