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Public Affection, Where Do You Stand?

Couple making out in public
Tom Pennington/Getty Images

I don’t know where you stand on the whole public display of affection topic? I personally have always had a real problem with blatant displays of affection between two people in public places.

Now, don’t get wrong, I’m not talking about a couple holding hands as they walk down the street, or a husband giving his wife a simple kiss in a crowded room.

I’m talking about the guy that feels the need to stick his tongue down some woman’s throat in a shopping mall, or the two people groping each other in a crowded restaurant, pretending like they’re auditioning for a soft porn flick on Skinamax!

I am sure you have witnessed something like this before?

Whenever I catch two people like that, it always reminds me of that scene from European Vacation with Chevy Chase. You know the one, where he and his son Rusty spot that couple making out in the restaurant. The scene goes something like, “Dad, I think he is going to pork her. He’s not going to pork her Rusty, just eat ok. I think he is dad. He may pork her Russ, just eat ok.”

Seeing something like that is more than just a little uncomfortable if you ask me. On the other hand, when my wife witnesses a similar display of affection in public, her typical response is to say “Ah, look at those two people over there, so in love! It’s nice to see such bliss!”

Such bliss! Really? “Sheez, get a room already why don’t ya” is what I’m inclined to say!

Then there’s the subject of the two people who feel the need to set on the same side of the table in public. I call them “same-siders.” What’s with that? Is the chair on the other side of the table busted? Is there some gross, foreign looking object that resembles the creature from the movie Alien sitting on your side of the booth, that forced you to switch sides?

Is it just me, or do you also think it’s a little weird for couples to sit next to each other on the same side of a table in a public place? And while we’re on the subject, what is the best display of public affection you have ever witnessed before?

I’d love to hear from you.

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