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U.S. to Reopen Barren South Dakota Due to Overpopulation. The Statewide Nightmare of Ample Elbow Room in Peril

With the population of the United States now surpassing 300 million, this recent headline made me look…twice. It read, “Overpopulation Concerns Force U.S. To Reopen South Dakota.”

What? When did we close?

Before we roll out the red carpet, consider the source. The headline is from the satirical spoof-filled Onion, which bills itself as “America’s Finest News Source.” The Saturday Night Live of print, if you will.

The article declares that Secretary of the Interior Dirk Kempthorne has “reopened the immense, barren region known as South Dakota for the first time since it was shuttered in 1931.”

Good one.

Though no human being has stepped foot on that desolate soil for the better part of a century, we believe it is the best option for addressing the overcrowding we see in the country’s habitable states. The great, uncharted territory of South Dakota is henceforth open, with plenty of space for anyone who wants it—anyone at all.” – Secretary of the Interior Dirk Kempthorne

South Dakotan’s can appreciate a good joke. We’re proud of our sprawling prairies, wide-open spaces and that I-90 rest stop near Belvidere where one can see for 172 miles on a clear day.

It sure sounds like the editors of the Onion need to take a break from the big city, lie on the hood of a pickup in the middle of this “barren state” and gaze at the stars for a while. The time away and the tranquility will do you well.

 

source: The Onion

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