What Happened to Teddy Bears?
Some stuffed animals are meant to make us feel cuddly and safe. Others are meant to scare the hell out of us.
The stuffed creatures called Fugglers fall into the second group.
The welcome page to Mrs. McGettrick’s Fuggler Emporium made us laugh:
“I know why you’re here. You know why you’re here. You want a Fuggler. Don’t deny it. Why else would a person like you be in a place like this?
Each one of Mrs McGettrick’s Fugglers is unique. Although the same template may be used again, the fabric, buttons, stitching and fake teeth will vary wildly.
Legal Notice: You may have heard the rumour that I use human teeth. This may in fact be the only reason you have visited my shop. Shame on you. This is a TERRIBLE LIE put out by my ENEMIES in the cut throat PLUSH COMMUNITY. Those missing people have nothing to do with me. Any such allegations, or repetition of such allegations, will be dealt with swiftly and aggressively by my solicitor.
Mrs McGettrick thanks you for your understanding in this matter. Please buy a Fuggler. Buy two – keep one for a spare in case the first one mysteriously vanishes in the night, leaving behind only a note and pile of entrails, stacked like an abandoned game of jenga.”
These terrifying toys are sold out of Canterbury, England, and are made with fake human teeth.
If you want to purchase one (as a practical joke or to scare a small child) they can be purchased on the DIY site, Etsy.com.