Would You or Have You Ever Invited an Ex to Your Wedding?
It appears the average age of brides and grooms is increasing in the United States. Average age for a first-time bride is 26, for the groom it is 28. We might be able to get away with saying they have had a couple boyfriends and girlfriends before they got engaged. Just guessing.
It was brought to my attention these to-be-married couples are dealing with a sticky etiquette question, “What to do about the exes?” I didn’t know it was a question, but apparently it is.
Would you or have you ever invited an ex to your wedding? Sounds crazy to me.
“I wanted my ex to give me away, but my fiancé wouldn’t allow it,” laughed Beverly Kelly who lived in Minneapolis until last year.
William and Kate’s past lovers were invited to the April 2011 Royal Wedding. That’s right. Somewhere between four and ten (depending on which UK newspaper you read) of Williams’ exes were reportedly invited. Kate invited two of her old flames. Wedding reception suicide? It was hard to find for sure, but some royal accounts say most of them attended. I guess I get that, they are royalty. We aren’t.
Your guest list is filled with friends, family, colleagues, bosses. Are there exes? Whenever a bride or groom is thinking about inviting an ex to their wedding, it can stir up all kinds of wedding stress-fueled anxieties.
Your wedding day is supposed to be a celebration that includes all of the people who support your marriage—a happy time when you walk together hand-in-hand into the future. If there’s a huge reminder of your past sitting near the front table, isn’t it going to take some of the shine away from it all?
“I can’t imagine,” said Madeline Curtis, 25, who will be married in the spring. “I do not see the reason for me to have an old flame there nor do I want my groom to have an old lover there. Everyone would be uncomfortable, including parents and grandparents.”
If you were invited as an ex would you go to the wedding?
“I might if they invite me. It’s my way of showing that I’m happy for them and that I do support them as they enter the married life. Besides I’m not that bad to still keep grudges and hatred to either of them just because one of them is my ex. I’m still kind enough to show how I acknowledge them,” said Gia Chapman.
Matt Carver, 29, says he as gone to an exes wedding, but can certainly understand not going as well.
“I was very happy for my ex and still have somewhat of a friendship. I was honored that she felt safe to invite me and my current girlfriend.”
How do you feel about this etiquette statement from Jacqueline Whitmore, an international etiquette expert, author, and spokesperson? Agree or disagree?
There ought to be an etiquette rule that states that you should never invite an ex-wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, or ex-anything-else to your wedding, regardless of how much they tell you that they’re over you.
Let us know below.