Anyone accused you of being a nag?

This time of year relationships can be tough; people have a lot of things going on around the holidays, lots of stuff to nag your significant other about.

While I truly believe no one really sets out to be a nag, with the exception of that woman I dated back in 1988. I was fairly sure she wanted to make a profession out of nagging. One thing is for sure, nagging can be a real drag on a relationship!

Whatever the reason, he or she doesn't clean, won't pick up their clothes, won't lose weight, won't get off the computer, or won’t put down the TV remote; there are better ways to get your significant other to do what you ask then to turn into a crotchety broken record.

Here are a few signs you might have developed a case of the "nags":

  • You ask for something to be done more than twice. If you ask over and over again, it's time to try a different method. (Preferably one that doesn't involve you picking up the hammer in the garage and smacking it over your significant others head!)
  • Your statements begin with "you." As in: "You know what YOUR problem is..."
  • You feel more like a parent than a partner. Nobody wants to have their significant other babysit them!

Try these positive approach methods to get a different result instead:

  • Share your feelings.
  • Stick to the issue at hand.
  • Keep your statements brief so they don't turn into long lectures.
  • Don't make ultimatums.
  • Avoid using the phrases, "You always..." and "You never..." and "You should..."
  • Consider saying "would you" or "will you" rather than "could you" or "can you". There's a subtle difference in the way the request will be heard by your significant other.

Maybe the best gift you can give your significant other this Christmas is the gift of "no nagging?" It just might make your holidays a little merrier and bright without a fight!