I most likely have only myself to blame for watching way too much TV over the holidays, but I am sick to death of ads for product inventions that solve problems; some of which I didn't even know existed!

For instance, when did our baseboards get so filthy and hard to clean that a special implement (the Baseboard Buddy) needed to be invented? I've always just used the vacuum cleaner dusting attachment and probably will continue to do so, unless something like peanut butter or petroleum oil should soil them.

It apparently is very difficult to get a good-looking bottom without the assistance of a Booty Max contraption and its "multi-directional technology" (which meansyou can kick in a bunch of different directions!). This astounding piece of exercise equipment promises to reshape your flat, sagging caboose in minutes per day and you'll even get one-size-fits-all, rear-end-hugging, exercise pants to wear while you work!

No kitchen would be complete without annoying pitch-woman Cathy Mitchell's Red Copper Square Pan, in which you apparently can do everything from bake bread to deep-fry chicken; melt anything from a candy cane to a plastic cup as well as drive over it in a fit of rage, then bring it in, beat eggs to fluffy perfection, (with your mixer right in the pan) and serve them!

Let's not forget about the Turbo Scrubber which turns house cleaning (particularly cleaning the bathroom) into nothing less than a life-changing Disney music video. And once you have that bathroom spic-n-span, what you need is the Spin Spa which will usher your pampered corpus into a nirvana-type state. But this will only happen after you've twisted away those love handles with the Simply Fit Body Board.

I swear if I see the grinning, twisting, bearded ape in that commercial one more time, I may go all Elvis on my television! But again, it's my own fault for watching too much TV over the holidays.

My guess is the advertising research on these products targeted viewers of channels like Hallmark and Destination America as people, (just a few sandwiches short of a picnic) who would buy and use these wacky inventions.

I'm gullible. But thankfully, not that gullible!


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